Hmmm my thoughts and feelings today are so screwed up….. I never knew how much can happen at once, and so I plan on venting somewhat with a song by a fave band of mine, Crutch…
The storm clouds move in overhead, drowning out the light of day. Blinded in the darkness, soul torn apart by the falling rain. Cold and alone, trembling with fear and shame. Arms stretched to the sky as blood drips from my eyes, I wait for a break in the clouds. Withered from the absence of glory, fruitless from the absence of light. Barren from self-reliance, empty but not without hope. I still remember the glory of the light; I know the power of the sun. Amidst the despair, hope will prevail, as calm follows every storm. Hungry for renewal, longing for the warmth that awaits, I wait for a break in the clouds.
The reason I posted that song was a lot of crazy things have happened today… well for starters I teach at my church’s Vacation Bible School this year… hehe I’m a teacher and it’s always fun, yet it tires me out being so many kids… so for starters I was tired. Then later today I got a call from a person closest to my heart. He was telling me how he was so depressed and how he hates living alone. It got to the point where he was talking about suicide… if you know me at all, you would know that I get really uncomfortable and nervous when it comes to discussions about this… also being a person that has never had suicidal thoughts, I really couldn’t say to the person, “Oh I understand where your coming from” and “I know how you feel”… all I could do was listen, and pray with him, and yet I feel as though I haven’t done enough. So the problem that’s frustrating me is why I feel as though I was so short-handed in helping. I then decided to talk to my mom about it and we went up all the way to Wilkes-Barre to go visit this person and try to cheer him up. He seemed a little happier, but yet you could still see some dissappointment. Now I’m all worried that this person will do something rash and make a huge mistake. Plus to make matters worst, I missed Wednesday church. I’ve missed church a lot in the past couple of weeks and was really determined to go this wednesday…. so I’m feeling all 12 shades of guilty… and helpless…. I just hope this all passes over,and things turn out for the best. Oh not to mention I’m taking my permit test on Friday… is it hard by any chance?? Oh well I got to vent and I feel somewhat better, so good night netizens…
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